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First Date Advice

Public speaking, dentist visit, dating. All tend to strike fear in the hearts of every person, yet, there is hope. Ok, so maybe using the "imagine them all in their underwear" technique is helpful for overcoming your fear of public speaking, but it may not be the best way to overcome your fear of dating. Sure itís fun and you must admit that youíve done it on at least one date, however, there is a more mature method.

RELAX Ė Remember the hard part is over. Youíve asked that special someone out on a date and they accepted.

PLAN - Hopefully by this point you and your date have talked enough for you to know some of their interests. This way you will have some basis for planning the date. If you havenít discussed each otherís interests, be sure to ask a few questions now. Ask if they have any hobbies, do they enjoy the outdoors, what do they like to do during their free time.

You may discover several common interests and planning a date that you both will enjoy will be simple. Come up with a few suggestions and run them by your date. Be sure to stay open to any ideas they may have as well. The goal is to make sure you both will be comfortable with the plans and enjoy your time together.

IDEAS - Tired of the same old "Dinner and a Movie" date? Take a second to look around you. What types of events are happing in your town? Is there a fair, live music, a new coffee house opening? Check your local paper or city website for upcoming events.

Find activities where you both can express your creative side (and your true personality). Try going to a "paint it yourself" pottery shop. Youíll have plenty of uninterrupted conversation time, fun playing with paint (think back to finger painting as a child) and of course a memento of the date.

Instead of a movie, try going to a play. Donít worry; you donít have to spend tons of money on Broadway tickets. Check to see whatís playing at the Community Theater, local colleges or even high schools.

If the weather cooperates, do something outdoors. Tour local gardens, visit the zoo, have a picnic, eat ice cream cones while people watching. Youíll have plenty to talk about and wonít feel pressured to stick to some type of time schedule.

The idea is to find something you both will take pleasure in doing together. Keep the setting casual on the first date. That way you both can relax and enjoy getting to know each other without the fuss of a high maintenance setting.

PERSONALITY - Youíve set the time and place now all you have to do is be yourself. No one wants to go out with a phony. And believe me, theyíll be able to tell if you are acting. Think of the date as a type of interview.

You wouldnít want to hire someone who said they had all the skills needed to do the job only to discover they donít have any skills. Your date wants to know the true you and not the person you only think they want to know. Be true to yourself and to your date.

REMEMBER - A date in no way obligates you to marry this person. So relax. There is no pressure. A date is simply a way to discover if there is a mutual interest in pursing a relationship. If nothing else you may find a new friend.

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